If life were a coloring book, and I were a crayon – I would methodically outline the edges darkly and accurately. I would go back and color all in one direction, not over-lapping where I’ve already colored, being sure to keep it all the same shade and consistency. And God help me, I would never – EVER – color outside the lines. I would do precisely what was expected of me, what was pleasing to the eye. I would function to the best of my little crayon ability! (And, I would smell good…trust me on this one, a new box of crayons smells very wholesome and pure!) I would embrace my little crayon life, and I wouldn’t ever dream there were sketch pads, or canvases, or walls – without lines on them at all!
Until, my coloring book became full. I colored all the pages just beautifully, and lived up to everyone’s crayon expectations. And now, I’ve discovered there can be more to my little crayon life than cookie-cutter images and grey pages. As I boldly look out of my 8 pack box, I see a:
WOW…I can be: CREATIVE! I can color madly and passionately! I can be hot pink if I want to! I can dream in color and be brave enough to step outside of the school-bus-yellow-box and make it happen. And, if I make a few mistakes along the way, it’s just another step toward my destiny. I’ve colored in the lines so long, some people will not recognize me, and others will certainly criticize. But the thing is – I’ve always been a crayon. I haven’t changed who I am or what I am made of. I haven’t changed what’s important to me, my values, or my dreams. I’m just no longer confined to the lines and images and pages that once contained me. I am no longer afraid of what the other crayons may think. Most importantly, I’m no longer afraid of making mistakes.
Before, a blank page would have scared me. I wouldn’t have known what to do with it, where to begin. But, now…I freakin’ DREAM! I dream BIG, fearlessly. You know, the way we tell our children to do – like they can be ANYTHING! Then, we all reach that age of accountability where dreams become ‘irresponsible’ and ‘reckless’. Nope. Not me. I’m pretty far past that age, but I’m no longer afraid of doing it wrong – of coloring outside the lines. Hell, I am making the lines, baby!
Tonight was fun and frivolous! It started out just me and my laptop on the patio at Fuzzy’s. But, it turned into a fun time making new friends, feeling young and fearless. Reminding myself that I create my own lines in life. I’m not talking about morals and values. For me those things haven’t changed. I’m talking about dreaming big dreams, and not letting fear, doubt, or criticism hold you back. No more coloring book life for me. The canvas I’m coloring on now is so large I can’t even see the edges!
“The pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned…”