metamorphosis on my back porch

Breathing in the morning on my back porch, solving my world’s problems.  Enjoying the best cup of coffee ever from Red House Coffee (roasted in Burleson, Texas)!  The only thing wrong is that it is my last cup of Ethiopian Roast – pure awesomeness in a cup!  And, I know that I am about to lose all three of my male readers.  This is probably a blogger’s version of a chick-flick.  Yeah guys…there are going to be butterflies.  Sorry bout that.  But, if you dare to stick around, there will also be guts on a car windshield at some point…

See, these days I often feel like a butterfly unfurling its wings for the first time after being curled up snuggly in its cozy cocoon.  There is a stretching and a growing going on inside of me.  It’s like that first morning stretch; it releases tension and tightness in my soul.  There is freedom and experimentation with my brand-new wings.  And, though at times it may be frightening, I am learning to enjoy the flight.  I’m breathing in the newness of life.  It’s light and whimsical and uncalculated.

Still, there are times I really miss the safety, comfort and protection of my cocoon.  It was predictable, and there was comfort in that.  Nobody noticed me, and there was safety in that.  But no matter how hard I wrestle with that cocoon, I just don’t fit in it like I once did.

I am experiencing growth and change – sometimes painfully so.

While at moments I celebrate my wings, there are times I get slammed into a car windshield and cringe at my flight.  I do not find perfect peace in the safety of the cocoon, nor do I find perfect peace in the passion of the flight.  So, I wrestle intently to figure out exactly where I belong anymore.

And then it struck me!  Why am I putting so much pressure on myself to choose?  I don’t have to flit around aimlessly on the slightest breeze.  Nor do I have to be hidden and tucked away in darkness.  Actually, there is a part of me that is both.  I am authentically creative and fun and passionate!  I LOVE LIFE!  I am a happy girl!  I am also just as genuinely thoughtful and soulful and serious.  I am deliberate.  I am a thinker and a planner.

In my own wrestling to reconcile the creativity and the comfort-zone, I have landed in a familiar place.  A peaceful place.  And, I discovered that there is a season for everything under the sun – including butterflies.

                       There is a time to cry and a time to laugh.

                             There is a time to mourn and a time to dance.

                                                            There is a time to embrace and a time to part.

                                               There is a time to be silent and a time to speak.

There is a time to light and a time for flight.

After all, a butterfly is really just a worm with wings.

And, that is exactly what I am – both the worm and the wings.

And, by the grace of God – Who created both the worm and the wings – I will delicately maneuver between whimsical, expressive flight and purposeful, thoughtful landing.  For therein lies the growth and maturity: the discernment to know when to soar and when to be still.

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